Friday, June 19, 2009

A house full of memories and even more stuff...

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I've been helping my brother go through my mother's things at the house.
There is a lot of cleaning to do and she kept old bills and other papers from the past 20 years it seems.
Then there's clothing, canned goods and a lifetime of mismatched items in the house.
Which is oddly very much like my house where after 4 kids, my husband and I the house is full of choice items
acquired through thrift shops, yardsales, friends and family's discards and purchased from exclusive stores like Ikea, Sears and Target. Mostly scratched, dented, chipped, nicked, glued or missing some part...

At any rate I still can't seem to come to terms with this whole thing.
I'd rather not do anything at all in a way but it's not possible.
I don't like going through all her stuff. Honestly I hate it.
Yes, there's sentimental value to some of it but the rest were the things she collected over a lifetime.

Someday my life will be put into boxes and sifted through, boxed donated and yardsaled. Sigh.
And perhaps some well worn item of mine will be bought by someone else and end up another day in another box.
Circle of life my friend.

All this rain in NY isn't helping my dark mood today.
When exactly is summer coming? Windy, pouring, damp and unpleasant all day AGAIN.
Need some sun, need a lot of sun.

Picking out a picture of a Lotus Flower (Water or Pond Lily) from the images and drawings I have collected to place in the empty space between my mother and father's names on the stone we picked out. It will take around five or six weeks for the stone to come at least that's what I think they said. Then I guess they carve the names and dates on it.

I'm kinda forgetful, scattered in thought, discouraged and tired of everyone right about now.
I feel very unsettled about this whole thing still.
Still just numb...
I miss my mother very, very much.

Going to bed to hopefully catch some of that elusive sleep thing.
Doubtful on a normal night... tonight wind is whipping around house and still raining.
Yay.

G'night,

Laura

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