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Sorry this is so long, there's a story to it...
I seriously think sometimes that I need to stop reading and writing about, watching and listening to, the news.
Why you ask?
Because often I have dreams that Chris Matthews and I are having dinner discussing Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin.
Or that Jon Stewart is yelling at me because my McCain/Obama jokes just aren't funny enough- tells me to get funny or else.
Here's more: Bill O'Reilly mentions my inadequacies to even have a political opinion on the Factor No Spin Zone.
I'm one of the "news pundit discussion boxes" on CNN or FOX discussing whatever the issue of the day is. (Had a great dream discussion panel on Joe the Plumber and McCain campaign).
All real dreams I've had and there are many more... scary huh? Not dreaming about Johnny Depp or even Melissa Etheridge... nope, not even sexy dreams. Mostly they're about talking. Not even fun dreams like partying till the wee hours with Gwen Ifill and the PBS regulars, no secret rendezvous with Chuck Todd or sking with Stephen Colbert and his family... but okay I can deal with it, that's just me, fine.
But this one takes the cake:
I was watching a clip of Paulson (who I've mentioned that I don't like numerous times) talking about how he needs the rest of the 700 billion dollar bailout just before I finished my hot tea and went to bed last night. My "no way" reaction to that was fresh on my mind and yet still I can't explain away this one.
I dreamt that I was a secret agent posing as a reporter watching from backstage during Paulson's speech and I followed him when he left.
The scenery rapidly changed from regular streets and buildings to thick mist, a forrest and long windy road. I followed by watching their retreating tail lights with my headlights off. When he stopped so did I and then I followed him on foot path into the woods. There were 3 of them in the car, Paulson and two body guards. They joined about 8 others in a clearing with a lit fire at it's center. Two men stood guard at the beginning of the clearing. There was only one way in or out. The forrest was thick and even in the day one would have trouble leaving the path to wander around. It was night. I hid in the bushes and sat my tiny video camera on the crook of a tree, turned it on and zoomed in on the group.
Before my eyes by the fire Paulson became more and more bent over resembling some kind of tall gawky gnarly evil demon. The group chanted out "Get it, smash them, get it, bring them to their knees, Paulson, Paulson, Paulson."
The fire sparked up as he morphed back into the human Paulson. Did I imagine the transformation? He walked up to the front of the small group. His eyes seemed to glow blue.
He spoke for quite a while of his intent for his billion dollar bailout and how he would squash Obama and the US government. He said they would take all the money that they actually had hidden aside instead of giving it out to form a powerful evil cabal in some "Middle Eastern" county. The bank and stock crisis was all an elaborate ruse and the companies that got the money were fakes. It was a set up and that was why he was so "Damned angry" about the auto industy getting some of the money because he had no control over the auto industry. Everyone was mesmerized by his words and had fallen silent.
My camera blinked, letting me know it was out of recording space. Time to get away. I turned and after two or three steps tripped over a tree root in the dark. I was sent sprawling into a bush, snapping a branch as I fell trying to protect my camera. The sound sent the two guards after me.
I sprinted off in the direction that I had just came in trying to retrace my steps without killing myself in the dark.
I became very still inside, cold as ice and determined in my quest. I must live to tell the story. I had to.
I would warn Barack about the plot against him and the US economy because nothing was more important.
I hated to kill but had a license to do so if necessary. Ultra secret service.
I knew only two men with guns were chasing me. I ducked behind a tree and dispatched the closest one with a blow to his throat. The second one I shot with the first one's gun. I could hear people yelling and coming through the woods. I reached my car before they caught up to me and jumped in. Bullets hit my car as I threw it into gear. (Navy blue specialty Porsche)
I smiled. I was going to get away. Unfortunately I didn't get very far when Paulson's group came roaring up behind me in their black BMW sedan. After an awesome high speed car chase where I kicked through the gears their car fully equipped with evil gadgets ran me off the road and I crashed into a tree.
The men grabbed me out of the car. I didn't think anything was broken but my head hurt and I could barely see around me or concentrate of what was going on.
Paulson bent over me, leaned into my face and said "So you think you were going to get away from us? You can't do anything about this, it's all prearranged." To his colleagues he said " Too bad for you there's going to be an unfortunate fall off a very tall building. You've been so depressed lately. Let's go." He nodded and the nearest man punched me in the jaw.
The pain radiated across my face and expanded on my all ready pounding head. I felt dizzy and nauseous.
I was going to pass out.
When I regained consciousness I was in the pitch dark. I took a deep breath and realized I was in a car trunk speeding down some road. I immediately started running rapidly through my mind how to get out of the car to save the country. All my joints seemed to flex but my leg was numb, cramped underneath me. I listened to the muted words of men talking and the road and engine noises.
I was trying to figure out how to get my wrists free because they felt like they were taped together when sirens began to sound all around me. All hell seemed to be breaking lose outside of the car. The men inside sounded like they were arguing. This could be to my advantage I thought. The sirens got louder and louder. There was something familiar about the sirens. They were so close to my head it wanted to explode. The car began to slow down and pull over. The bumping made my teeth hurt a lot.
I tried to lift myself up.
Blink, blink, wait a minute, it's not night, it's light outside. That's my husband's mild snoring mixed with the wild wind racing around outdoors, not car engine sounds. No sirens from a police chase just my alarm clock going off on the nightstand.
Ugh morning all ready.
My leg really is asleep. I wiggle my toes and unclench my jaw
I'm dreaming, this isn't real. None of it.
And full of cliches like a really, really, unbelievably, bad spy novel.
How disturbing.
*********** and that's it, told as best I could ************
Now tell me, somebody, what the hell was that??? That's not a dream it's weird. I have no idea what to make of that.
I think I was inside of at least five fantasy/adventure/spy movies that I recognized afterwards.
I have no idea what I looked like in the dream, hopefully like Kate Beckinsale or Harrison Ford...
Was that a nightmare or just an odd but interesting dream? Beats me.
I SHOULD go on a cold turkey diet from the news but I definitely couldn't manage it.
I know my limitations (and I have many). Quit smoking: yeah. Diet: working on it. Stay away from drugs, don't drink too much, be fair, just and honest... yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I'm a news junkie at this point, plain and simple. Incorrigible.
I've tried, I've tired (she says with a tear in her eye) but I just can't do it.
I'm a Junkie that has a wicked jones going for caffeine packed coffee and the world news.
It just ain't pretty.
But then it never really is.
So tonight I think I'll lay off writing about political stuff. Or at least stop eating right before going to bed for sure.
Need to get some rest, have to finish off Christmas shopping and everything else pretty much tomorrow.
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Can the auto industry change the way they do things in three months? Doubtful.
Is it a compromise or something entirely different? How realistic is the whole plan and what jobs will it really save?
I was reading up on Blago's court troubles... I wonder if he'll actually do hard time. Not sure. But there is a "maybe."
Then there's the story from Alaska about the arrest of Palin's daughter's boyfriend's mother being arrested on drug charges.
Sounds like a soap opera. Stay tuned, the baby cometh...
G'night everyone.
Hope your calm and cheerful.
Laura
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